but not a guy to whip!! Yesterday was Carlos & my (sounds wrong) 3 year anniversary. Apparently that calls for a leather present. Jacket? Boring.. Belt? Lame.. Ass-less chaps?? Maybe! Hahaha. Just kidding. I'm not that type of girl...
Anymore. Anywho... But instead of going out and looking for that perfect outfit or nice shoes or what not, I spent four (4) hours in my damn truck. Why? Because this idiot named Aimee decided to leaver her lights on, since it was dark out when she left her house at 7am, and not turn them off. Dumbass! So I took a nap, wrote a letter, read a chapter, ate a sandwich, glanced at a magazine, cleaned the backseat, threw out some trash, drank some water, and essentially froze my ass off in my spandex pants and flashdance sweater! If only I had the leg warmers on to keep my calves hot!
Yup, that's how I spent four hours. Oh well. So instead of going home and tidying the room so we could play some trivial pursuit (ha ha ha) I got to wait till he got out of work and have him come rescue me. 'Cause I am the biggest dork that ever lived.. AND to top it all off. I didn't even have jumper cables. He had to go get some. The ones I did have I took out like a week ago because I decided that they weren't benificial without the plastic handles.. that may be true, but I should have replaced them immediatly, am I right?? Yes, yes I am right.
So last night was a bust. Oh well. It was still a good night. We watched a few movies and made plans for Friday. He's taking the day off. I'm so excited. We're gunna go to McDizzles for breakfast (of champions) and then to do the taxes, and finally: Disneyland!!! Yay!! And since Captain EO is totally back, that's the first place we're gunna hit! I know what you're thinking, LAME! You guys always go to Disneyland. Yeah! That's 'cause we have so much fun together. And it's always a laugh riot!
And I love it. I love anywhere we go to spend time together. Any place is fine with me! Anyplace. And anyplace (tax place, dentist, doctor, bowling, Disneyland, school, work, park, hiking...) that we have ever gone together is 1000000000000000 times more fun than any bullshit anniversary I EVER spent with ANY of my ex's. For example:
Miley: well to be fair, I don't really remember. We never really went anywhere. Or did anything. Really quite boring actually. Well he occasionally took his hatred of school out on me, yelling and being pist all the time. He had a bad temper.
Twig: We went to Six Flags once, with our friend Ivan as a third wheel/supervisor, so we weren't really alone. Oh but we did do stuff. It just wasn't very fun or fulfilling stuff. Never really got anywhere if you catch my drift. He was very nervous and jumpy all the time. It was really annoying. And his mom was a stupid bitch. She hated me. I think the main reason was because I wasn't Salvi.. I don't know, that bitch was retarded. She sold a perfectly good house to move to Bakersfield. His dad was a little bitch for letting that happen. He was a little bitch too. Always crying and stuff. It was like I was the man and he was an emotionaly woman. It was really too much for me. I already have female issues as it is, I don't need my generic gender roles confused. So I dumped his ass after about 7 months of crying (all his part).
Andrew: aka the Temecula Toucher. Ha ha ha. Yeah. I have no problems or qualms or whatever word you wanna insert here with gays. I have gays in my family and I friends who are gay, bi, straight, whatever.... But this guy was just too fucking much. So one day.. we're hanging out, and he decides to share with me some fucking info that I at this point wasn't really ready to hear. "You know, I was in the shower.." (this sentence begining never EVER had anything good following it, ever) "and I was masterbating but I couldn't get off. So I decided (who decides things while masterbating anyway??) to finger my own ass hole and... I came, really hard too, I really liked it." And thus, the Temecula Toucher was born out of the ashes of what I thought was a normal relationship. "You think maybe you can push your thumb..." NO.. EN OH! Never. Never ever ever ever in a million years, even if I wanted kids and you were the only guy and the only way to get sperm was to NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO 10000000000 times NO!!! What posessed me to stay with him for 2 years always stumps me.. I blame it on really low low low low low low low low self esteem and a fast food coma put onto my brain from not living at home or cooking for myself. Our anniversaries (all 2 of them) were either spent in bed or at some restaurant where I paid.. even birthdays I paid (even my own birthday). My favorite celebration was our very first Valentine's Day! I didn't get a gift that day.. but I was given a gift of "Here I won this watch at a raffle and I was gunna give it to Mildred but then she dumped me and gave it back. I think it still works, all you have to do is change the battery and then it should be good." If that wasn't a fucking warning sign my brain ignored.. Fuck. That was only a month in to our "relationshit!" Ha ha ha. Looking back, there were so many fucking signs. But we all have 20/20 hindsight or whatever the saying is.
I found out like a week ago that apparently he still loves me and I will always have a special place in his heart. But he understands now (3 years after I broke free) that we would have never worked. That's a load of bullshit! You cannot keep a special place for someone you tormented, abused (verbally and physically), threatened, scared, mistreated, hurt, used and everything else, in your fucking heart.. It makes no fucking sense what so ever! He used to prevent me from leaving him by promising to change his ugly ways or by threatening to kill himself. "Don't leave me, I can't live without you, I'll kill myself." Instead of saying ok, I love you, I'll stay.. I should have said "Do it! You'll be doing society a favor."
That was mean.. Ha ha ha.. but so true. According to sources close to him, he refers to me as "Psycho ex girlfriend" and has only ever dated really really manly looking women. So manly that they could probably fuck him in the ass and not need a strap on. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, I'm the psycho... right.. that's why when I tried to leave him he ran his head into the wall to try and kill himself. But I'm the psycho.
What a douche..
Anyway. Back to reality. Carlos is so sweet. When he first asked me to be his girlfriend, it was at night when I still lived in Santa Barbara. It was on the beach under a full moon. It was probably the sweetest most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. But every thing he's ever done for me is romantic. He said he loved me and that he just wanted to be with me. He wanted to be there for me when I'm sad, smile when I'm happy and take care of me so that nothing bad ever happens to me. He's such a cutie. I love him. He truly is my Prince Charming. On our first anniversary he gave me one rose and took me out to dinner and a movie. On our second anniversary he gave me two roses and a card that said:
"Two roses for the love of my life on our two year anniversary. Imagine when it's our 50th anniversary, I got to start saving my pennies for all those roses. I love you. Carlos"
He's the cutest thing in the whole world!! And I'll never ever stop loving him.
"We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find." - Unknown
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