Sooo I realized I haven't written anything in a while. As a matter of fact I found an old journal under my side of the bed and when I opened it it said:
January 1st 2010 - My new years resolution is to write everyday, I promise.
Obviously it's now JULY 2011... guess that didn't work out too well! Ha ha ha. Well this time I PROMISE I'll write more. Seriously. Especially now that I have one of the coolest jobs in the world. I'm a culinary student who gets to TEACH other people how to cook!! I know, I know.. it is totally awesome! Waaaaaaaaay better then working at walmart.
Anyway. Hopefully I can keep this up, but for now, I gotta go!
See ya!
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Everytime I look for you...
the sun goes down.
I miss him. Is that weird. I mean I haven't seen this guy since 9th grade and everytime I hear Blink 182, I think of him. I'm not in love with him or anything. I just remember him. I remember his smile, his laugh, his facem the way he made me laugh.. I don't what it was about him, but if I could have anyone from my past come back into my life, I would pick him. I think that's why I like spending time with Andy. Andy reminds me of him.
He was so cool. He liked Blink 182, we talked about Jedi's, we liked the same music, movies and everything. I miss him.
Damn. What a creeper. I suck.
-"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life." - Green Day
I miss him. Is that weird. I mean I haven't seen this guy since 9th grade and everytime I hear Blink 182, I think of him. I'm not in love with him or anything. I just remember him. I remember his smile, his laugh, his facem the way he made me laugh.. I don't what it was about him, but if I could have anyone from my past come back into my life, I would pick him. I think that's why I like spending time with Andy. Andy reminds me of him.
He was so cool. He liked Blink 182, we talked about Jedi's, we liked the same music, movies and everything. I miss him.
Damn. What a creeper. I suck.
-"It's something unpredictable, but in the end it's right. I hope you had the time of your life." - Green Day
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
If you're too old...
get the hell outta my way!! Old people are so ridiculous. Well not all old people, but the ones that I've come into contact with recently...
So Monday's & Wednesday's I have an aqua aerobics class. I love it! It's hard work, but I'm already starting to see an improvement in the way my clothes fit. There's a few older women in that class and they are normally very sweet. But there's this one lady. Fuck. I really really really really dislike this woman. So Carlos and I have been together for 3 years and we really don't fight over possessions or anything because we have a "what's mine is his and what's his is mine" sorta thing going on. Eventually we will get married. And this lady was asking about my life. So I told her: My boyfriend and I have been living together for a while and we're are not married. Well.. that is, according to her, UNACCEPTABLE! Not because the bible says, or the church, or morally. No. Because when we split up (when, not if), when we split up I won't get half of what he owns. So I should get married so I can divorce him for half of his stuff. Seriously? Really. What the hell. Who says that? Who says that? And she isn't like some crazy cat lady, she has a family. But really.. I mean. What the hell. So I let it slide. Whatever, bitch is crazy. But today.. TO-DAY!! Oh my.. I know I'm a little on the hefty side. I wear anywhere from size 12 to size 16, depending on the time of the month, bloating, etc etc... anyway. Well I'm working to correct that. Before my aqua aerobics class, I have a gym class in the gym at school. And since I've started winter session, I've lost about 5 lbs... But according to Mrs. Oldass Knowitall, I'm as obese as she is.. She asked me how my gym class was going and I told her it was fine and she said: "Yeah, that's good. It's a tough class, but girls like us need it." WTF?? Girls like US?? No no no no no.. bitch I ain't part of your fucking clan.. Girls like us. Bitch please. Then, THEN she says: "Yeah I've changed my diet to go along with my exercise routine. You know you should really consider changing your diet so you can loose weight and not have all this energy exercising go to waste." Really bitch? Are you serious... What the fuck. This lady doesn't even know what I eat. And I eat healthy! I have a bowl of apple jacks and soy milk for breakfast, a ham & cheese sandwich and an apple for lunch, a granola bar as a snack, and then whatever thing I make in class or at home for dinner. And I drink tons of water. Change my diet, what I should change is your attitude.. telling me I'm obese.
But I only see her two days a week for about an hour.. so it's not that bad. But the ladies in my culinary class. Damn those bitches are viscous. I've dubbed them: The Senior Citizen Brigade! All of them are most likely menopausal and have kids and a family. I see them on Mondays & Tuesday's from 2 to like 10. They are some of the most scandalous bitches. Especially the leader. Eileen. Ugh! Fuck can that lady be anymore annoying. I mean it's bad enough she thinks she's better than the rest of us but then she takes all the ingredients and hogs them. She takes the equipment we need and hogs it. It's as if she is the queen and we all get her scraps. What the hell. I did NOT pay an arm and a leg for ingredients to get jipped just 'cause Mrs. I'm the Fucking Greatest thinks she gets first dibs. Then on top of that, when we're in the kitchen we are supposed to announce when we have hot plates or pans or knives in our hands and are walking with them. This bitch doesn't say a damn word and then gets irritated and we bump into her or get in her way. Then she'll say it all pissed like she announced it earlier (but she didn't) and make it seem like it's our fault she's a stupid ass.
Whatever. They're all ridiculous. That's just a super short list of all the seniors that irk me. But if I went on I'd probably hate on the whole world. Oh well.
This week has gone by quick. It seems like only yesterday I got belligerent and had to call for someone to drive me & my car home. But that was last week. And that was outrageous. Fuck. My birthday is coming up soon. Hopefully it's better than last years birthday. Last year was boring. This year I've been told that I'm to buy a new blouse and do my hair and makeup 'cause I'm going out to a club. Finally. I've never been to one and apparently that's an outrage. Oh well. Hopefully Lydia and Chris know what they're doing. Hopefully I don't get too drunk but just drunk enough to make it to the bathroom every time. Ha ha ha ha. We'll see how that goes. I have to finish prepping for my culinary final. Guinness chocolate pudding, here I come!
"If you don't like it, you can shove it! But you don't like it, you love it!" - Weezer
So Monday's & Wednesday's I have an aqua aerobics class. I love it! It's hard work, but I'm already starting to see an improvement in the way my clothes fit. There's a few older women in that class and they are normally very sweet. But there's this one lady. Fuck. I really really really really dislike this woman. So Carlos and I have been together for 3 years and we really don't fight over possessions or anything because we have a "what's mine is his and what's his is mine" sorta thing going on. Eventually we will get married. And this lady was asking about my life. So I told her: My boyfriend and I have been living together for a while and we're are not married. Well.. that is, according to her, UNACCEPTABLE! Not because the bible says, or the church, or morally. No. Because when we split up (when, not if), when we split up I won't get half of what he owns. So I should get married so I can divorce him for half of his stuff. Seriously? Really. What the hell. Who says that? Who says that? And she isn't like some crazy cat lady, she has a family. But really.. I mean. What the hell. So I let it slide. Whatever, bitch is crazy. But today.. TO-DAY!! Oh my.. I know I'm a little on the hefty side. I wear anywhere from size 12 to size 16, depending on the time of the month, bloating, etc etc... anyway. Well I'm working to correct that. Before my aqua aerobics class, I have a gym class in the gym at school. And since I've started winter session, I've lost about 5 lbs... But according to Mrs. Oldass Knowitall, I'm as obese as she is.. She asked me how my gym class was going and I told her it was fine and she said: "Yeah, that's good. It's a tough class, but girls like us need it." WTF?? Girls like US?? No no no no no.. bitch I ain't part of your fucking clan.. Girls like us. Bitch please. Then, THEN she says: "Yeah I've changed my diet to go along with my exercise routine. You know you should really consider changing your diet so you can loose weight and not have all this energy exercising go to waste." Really bitch? Are you serious... What the fuck. This lady doesn't even know what I eat. And I eat healthy! I have a bowl of apple jacks and soy milk for breakfast, a ham & cheese sandwich and an apple for lunch, a granola bar as a snack, and then whatever thing I make in class or at home for dinner. And I drink tons of water. Change my diet, what I should change is your attitude.. telling me I'm obese.
But I only see her two days a week for about an hour.. so it's not that bad. But the ladies in my culinary class. Damn those bitches are viscous. I've dubbed them: The Senior Citizen Brigade! All of them are most likely menopausal and have kids and a family. I see them on Mondays & Tuesday's from 2 to like 10. They are some of the most scandalous bitches. Especially the leader. Eileen. Ugh! Fuck can that lady be anymore annoying. I mean it's bad enough she thinks she's better than the rest of us but then she takes all the ingredients and hogs them. She takes the equipment we need and hogs it. It's as if she is the queen and we all get her scraps. What the hell. I did NOT pay an arm and a leg for ingredients to get jipped just 'cause Mrs. I'm the Fucking Greatest thinks she gets first dibs. Then on top of that, when we're in the kitchen we are supposed to announce when we have hot plates or pans or knives in our hands and are walking with them. This bitch doesn't say a damn word and then gets irritated and we bump into her or get in her way. Then she'll say it all pissed like she announced it earlier (but she didn't) and make it seem like it's our fault she's a stupid ass.
Whatever. They're all ridiculous. That's just a super short list of all the seniors that irk me. But if I went on I'd probably hate on the whole world. Oh well.
This week has gone by quick. It seems like only yesterday I got belligerent and had to call for someone to drive me & my car home. But that was last week. And that was outrageous. Fuck. My birthday is coming up soon. Hopefully it's better than last years birthday. Last year was boring. This year I've been told that I'm to buy a new blouse and do my hair and makeup 'cause I'm going out to a club. Finally. I've never been to one and apparently that's an outrage. Oh well. Hopefully Lydia and Chris know what they're doing. Hopefully I don't get too drunk but just drunk enough to make it to the bathroom every time. Ha ha ha ha. We'll see how that goes. I have to finish prepping for my culinary final. Guinness chocolate pudding, here I come!
"If you don't like it, you can shove it! But you don't like it, you love it!" - Weezer
Friday, March 5, 2010
Five days in..
and I'm already dreading my birthday. I turn 23 this year on the 25th. Then what..
I guess nothing. 23 isn't really a milestone year. Neither was 21 really, I mean I already drank even if it was illegal. Whatever. This year will prbably be like last year. It'll come and pass without anyone noticing. I wish someone would throw me a surprise party, or even take me out. But no, I'll spend it at school since it's during the week. How lame. Oh well. Birthdays as a kid were the coolest. With cake and pinatas of some weird animals or your favorite t.v. show. All the candy you could eat and soda you could drink. All the presents you asked for. It was like Christmas but cooler since you didn't have to wait for all your cousins to slowly open their gifts, only you get gifts. And everyone has to do what you want because it's your birthday, so you make the rules! It's the greatest. As you get older, they become less and less exciting. Now it's like, "well we have to get together on the weekend because everyone is busy, oh and this person doesn't like this type of food so we can't eat here..." It's lame and so business like. There's no party anymore. No more enjoyment. Maybe it's just me and my group of friends. Hopefully this year is different. Maybe this year I'll actually get what I ask for. Something cool like a better non gas-guzzling car or maybe even some damn pants.
I only own 3 pairs of pants. How sad is that. I need to get my shit together. I mean it shouldn't be this hard to find a part time job. I'm so lame. Anyway.
So Andy finally got a girlfriend. Good for him. Seriously. But I kind of don't like hanging out with them. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love them both.. yeah I said it.. but he gets really weird and touchy feely with her in front of me and it totally makes me uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. It's cool that he's all excited but it's like, "ok guys.. cut it out, I'm sitting right here... You just asked me a question and now you're not even listening to my answer... HELLO!! HEEEELLLLOOOO!! Anybody home.. Ugh..."
It's weird. I don't know. Maybe they'll stop one day. Or maybe it'll just get worse and they'll jump each other at the damn table. I don't know. It's weird.
Midterms are here. Yay.. not really. Ugh. My culinary midterm wasn't that bad. It tasted ok. I don't know. What sucks is that we're loosing a week in that class. Instead of having our final on the last week of March as scheduled, it's on March 23rd. So now I have to think of a three course meal.. Maybe an appetizer, entree & dessert. I don't know. I still don't know what the school is going to do in regards to the fact that we're getting thrown out on the street. Thanks alot guy who owns the damn building for selling us out. You suck. Now we aren't going to have a kitchen or place to learn anymore. It sucks. So should I even buy my textbook for Intenational Cuisine or should I just jump into some lava and die because all other culinary schools are like 40 thousand a semester.
What a bitch. Oh well. So a "friend" of mine came down from the boonies to visit the valley. I don't know what's worse. The fact that she's only decided to "grace us" with her presence for a week or the fact that she thinks I should drop everything to visit with her. Hellp bitch, I have a life. The little world of Sylmar didn't stop turning just because you decided to pack your shit and move to fucking Montana. Montana. Seriously. What the fuck is there to do out there that you couldn't fucking do out here. And then the kicker, she invites me to her grandmas house for a BBQ and says oh yeah and your ex is going to be there. Yeah that sounds like a fucking hell of a party I want to be at. I really want to spend time with an ex who constantly treated me like shit, fucked HER behind my back (twice) and apparently is still in love with me. What the fuck! What a stupid bitch. Anyway.
So Carlos says last night he wants to hang out with her. That's cool. Doesn't bother me at all, no seriously.. it doesn't. So he goes for about an hour and comes back laughing. What the hell.. ok so then he tells me that she got uber fat. Like morbidly obese.. Like B word fat (the fat people who's lips have trouble pronouncing the B's without spitting and breathing hard. Wow. This was the girl that in high school everyone wanted to fuck, and most did. He said that she was all over him because he looks good. I clenched my fist a little but he said to let him finish so I did. She told him "wow you're like dreamy, you look really good and fit. You're really sexy, tell Aimee she's really lucky. You look really good." I laughed, not because it isn't true but, because if she wasn't such a whore they would have dated billions of years ago. Oh well. Ha ha ha. Her loss. My win! Yay! Anyway, back to reality. So then he said, they started talking about what we've been up to and he said she got a little sad because where she lives there's only so many people and everything is like 15 miles from them. How lame. She left all this to go do nothing, live in a trailer, and drive a rusted out astro van basically. What the fuck.
It's weird, but since he said that she's morbidly obese and cleans toilets at a hotel for a living and lives in a busted ass trailer I feel bad for her. I might go visit her just because I feel bad, but not bad enough to not go looking as fucking good as possible. Got some skirts and tops to wash. Got some people to show up a little on Saturday! Karma is a bitch, bitch! Ha ha ha ha ha!
"To say there is no bad karma is the same as saying that when you drive over a cliff that only good things will happen." - J.J. Dewey
I guess nothing. 23 isn't really a milestone year. Neither was 21 really, I mean I already drank even if it was illegal. Whatever. This year will prbably be like last year. It'll come and pass without anyone noticing. I wish someone would throw me a surprise party, or even take me out. But no, I'll spend it at school since it's during the week. How lame. Oh well. Birthdays as a kid were the coolest. With cake and pinatas of some weird animals or your favorite t.v. show. All the candy you could eat and soda you could drink. All the presents you asked for. It was like Christmas but cooler since you didn't have to wait for all your cousins to slowly open their gifts, only you get gifts. And everyone has to do what you want because it's your birthday, so you make the rules! It's the greatest. As you get older, they become less and less exciting. Now it's like, "well we have to get together on the weekend because everyone is busy, oh and this person doesn't like this type of food so we can't eat here..." It's lame and so business like. There's no party anymore. No more enjoyment. Maybe it's just me and my group of friends. Hopefully this year is different. Maybe this year I'll actually get what I ask for. Something cool like a better non gas-guzzling car or maybe even some damn pants.
I only own 3 pairs of pants. How sad is that. I need to get my shit together. I mean it shouldn't be this hard to find a part time job. I'm so lame. Anyway.
So Andy finally got a girlfriend. Good for him. Seriously. But I kind of don't like hanging out with them. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love them both.. yeah I said it.. but he gets really weird and touchy feely with her in front of me and it totally makes me uncomfortable. Really uncomfortable. It's cool that he's all excited but it's like, "ok guys.. cut it out, I'm sitting right here... You just asked me a question and now you're not even listening to my answer... HELLO!! HEEEELLLLOOOO!! Anybody home.. Ugh..."
It's weird. I don't know. Maybe they'll stop one day. Or maybe it'll just get worse and they'll jump each other at the damn table. I don't know. It's weird.
Midterms are here. Yay.. not really. Ugh. My culinary midterm wasn't that bad. It tasted ok. I don't know. What sucks is that we're loosing a week in that class. Instead of having our final on the last week of March as scheduled, it's on March 23rd. So now I have to think of a three course meal.. Maybe an appetizer, entree & dessert. I don't know. I still don't know what the school is going to do in regards to the fact that we're getting thrown out on the street. Thanks alot guy who owns the damn building for selling us out. You suck. Now we aren't going to have a kitchen or place to learn anymore. It sucks. So should I even buy my textbook for Intenational Cuisine or should I just jump into some lava and die because all other culinary schools are like 40 thousand a semester.
What a bitch. Oh well. So a "friend" of mine came down from the boonies to visit the valley. I don't know what's worse. The fact that she's only decided to "grace us" with her presence for a week or the fact that she thinks I should drop everything to visit with her. Hellp bitch, I have a life. The little world of Sylmar didn't stop turning just because you decided to pack your shit and move to fucking Montana. Montana. Seriously. What the fuck is there to do out there that you couldn't fucking do out here. And then the kicker, she invites me to her grandmas house for a BBQ and says oh yeah and your ex is going to be there. Yeah that sounds like a fucking hell of a party I want to be at. I really want to spend time with an ex who constantly treated me like shit, fucked HER behind my back (twice) and apparently is still in love with me. What the fuck! What a stupid bitch. Anyway.
So Carlos says last night he wants to hang out with her. That's cool. Doesn't bother me at all, no seriously.. it doesn't. So he goes for about an hour and comes back laughing. What the hell.. ok so then he tells me that she got uber fat. Like morbidly obese.. Like B word fat (the fat people who's lips have trouble pronouncing the B's without spitting and breathing hard. Wow. This was the girl that in high school everyone wanted to fuck, and most did. He said that she was all over him because he looks good. I clenched my fist a little but he said to let him finish so I did. She told him "wow you're like dreamy, you look really good and fit. You're really sexy, tell Aimee she's really lucky. You look really good." I laughed, not because it isn't true but, because if she wasn't such a whore they would have dated billions of years ago. Oh well. Ha ha ha. Her loss. My win! Yay! Anyway, back to reality. So then he said, they started talking about what we've been up to and he said she got a little sad because where she lives there's only so many people and everything is like 15 miles from them. How lame. She left all this to go do nothing, live in a trailer, and drive a rusted out astro van basically. What the fuck.
It's weird, but since he said that she's morbidly obese and cleans toilets at a hotel for a living and lives in a busted ass trailer I feel bad for her. I might go visit her just because I feel bad, but not bad enough to not go looking as fucking good as possible. Got some skirts and tops to wash. Got some people to show up a little on Saturday! Karma is a bitch, bitch! Ha ha ha ha ha!
"To say there is no bad karma is the same as saying that when you drive over a cliff that only good things will happen." - J.J. Dewey
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Leather, leather everywhere...
but not a guy to whip!! Yesterday was Carlos & my (sounds wrong) 3 year anniversary. Apparently that calls for a leather present. Jacket? Boring.. Belt? Lame.. Ass-less chaps?? Maybe! Hahaha. Just kidding. I'm not that type of girl...
Anymore. Anywho... But instead of going out and looking for that perfect outfit or nice shoes or what not, I spent four (4) hours in my damn truck. Why? Because this idiot named Aimee decided to leaver her lights on, since it was dark out when she left her house at 7am, and not turn them off. Dumbass! So I took a nap, wrote a letter, read a chapter, ate a sandwich, glanced at a magazine, cleaned the backseat, threw out some trash, drank some water, and essentially froze my ass off in my spandex pants and flashdance sweater! If only I had the leg warmers on to keep my calves hot!
Yup, that's how I spent four hours. Oh well. So instead of going home and tidying the room so we could play some trivial pursuit (ha ha ha) I got to wait till he got out of work and have him come rescue me. 'Cause I am the biggest dork that ever lived.. AND to top it all off. I didn't even have jumper cables. He had to go get some. The ones I did have I took out like a week ago because I decided that they weren't benificial without the plastic handles.. that may be true, but I should have replaced them immediatly, am I right?? Yes, yes I am right.
So last night was a bust. Oh well. It was still a good night. We watched a few movies and made plans for Friday. He's taking the day off. I'm so excited. We're gunna go to McDizzles for breakfast (of champions) and then to do the taxes, and finally: Disneyland!!! Yay!! And since Captain EO is totally back, that's the first place we're gunna hit! I know what you're thinking, LAME! You guys always go to Disneyland. Yeah! That's 'cause we have so much fun together. And it's always a laugh riot!
And I love it. I love anywhere we go to spend time together. Any place is fine with me! Anyplace. And anyplace (tax place, dentist, doctor, bowling, Disneyland, school, work, park, hiking...) that we have ever gone together is 1000000000000000 times more fun than any bullshit anniversary I EVER spent with ANY of my ex's. For example:
Miley: well to be fair, I don't really remember. We never really went anywhere. Or did anything. Really quite boring actually. Well he occasionally took his hatred of school out on me, yelling and being pist all the time. He had a bad temper.
Twig: We went to Six Flags once, with our friend Ivan as a third wheel/supervisor, so we weren't really alone. Oh but we did do stuff. It just wasn't very fun or fulfilling stuff. Never really got anywhere if you catch my drift. He was very nervous and jumpy all the time. It was really annoying. And his mom was a stupid bitch. She hated me. I think the main reason was because I wasn't Salvi.. I don't know, that bitch was retarded. She sold a perfectly good house to move to Bakersfield. His dad was a little bitch for letting that happen. He was a little bitch too. Always crying and stuff. It was like I was the man and he was an emotionaly woman. It was really too much for me. I already have female issues as it is, I don't need my generic gender roles confused. So I dumped his ass after about 7 months of crying (all his part).
Andrew: aka the Temecula Toucher. Ha ha ha. Yeah. I have no problems or qualms or whatever word you wanna insert here with gays. I have gays in my family and I friends who are gay, bi, straight, whatever.... But this guy was just too fucking much. So one day.. we're hanging out, and he decides to share with me some fucking info that I at this point wasn't really ready to hear. "You know, I was in the shower.." (this sentence begining never EVER had anything good following it, ever) "and I was masterbating but I couldn't get off. So I decided (who decides things while masterbating anyway??) to finger my own ass hole and... I came, really hard too, I really liked it." And thus, the Temecula Toucher was born out of the ashes of what I thought was a normal relationship. "You think maybe you can push your thumb..." NO.. EN OH! Never. Never ever ever ever in a million years, even if I wanted kids and you were the only guy and the only way to get sperm was to NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO 10000000000 times NO!!! What posessed me to stay with him for 2 years always stumps me.. I blame it on really low low low low low low low low self esteem and a fast food coma put onto my brain from not living at home or cooking for myself. Our anniversaries (all 2 of them) were either spent in bed or at some restaurant where I paid.. even birthdays I paid (even my own birthday). My favorite celebration was our very first Valentine's Day! I didn't get a gift that day.. but I was given a gift of "Here I won this watch at a raffle and I was gunna give it to Mildred but then she dumped me and gave it back. I think it still works, all you have to do is change the battery and then it should be good." If that wasn't a fucking warning sign my brain ignored.. Fuck. That was only a month in to our "relationshit!" Ha ha ha. Looking back, there were so many fucking signs. But we all have 20/20 hindsight or whatever the saying is.
I found out like a week ago that apparently he still loves me and I will always have a special place in his heart. But he understands now (3 years after I broke free) that we would have never worked. That's a load of bullshit! You cannot keep a special place for someone you tormented, abused (verbally and physically), threatened, scared, mistreated, hurt, used and everything else, in your fucking heart.. It makes no fucking sense what so ever! He used to prevent me from leaving him by promising to change his ugly ways or by threatening to kill himself. "Don't leave me, I can't live without you, I'll kill myself." Instead of saying ok, I love you, I'll stay.. I should have said "Do it! You'll be doing society a favor."
That was mean.. Ha ha ha.. but so true. According to sources close to him, he refers to me as "Psycho ex girlfriend" and has only ever dated really really manly looking women. So manly that they could probably fuck him in the ass and not need a strap on. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, I'm the psycho... right.. that's why when I tried to leave him he ran his head into the wall to try and kill himself. But I'm the psycho.
What a douche..
Anyway. Back to reality. Carlos is so sweet. When he first asked me to be his girlfriend, it was at night when I still lived in Santa Barbara. It was on the beach under a full moon. It was probably the sweetest most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. But every thing he's ever done for me is romantic. He said he loved me and that he just wanted to be with me. He wanted to be there for me when I'm sad, smile when I'm happy and take care of me so that nothing bad ever happens to me. He's such a cutie. I love him. He truly is my Prince Charming. On our first anniversary he gave me one rose and took me out to dinner and a movie. On our second anniversary he gave me two roses and a card that said:
"Two roses for the love of my life on our two year anniversary. Imagine when it's our 50th anniversary, I got to start saving my pennies for all those roses. I love you. Carlos"
He's the cutest thing in the whole world!! And I'll never ever stop loving him.
"We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find." - Unknown
Anymore. Anywho... But instead of going out and looking for that perfect outfit or nice shoes or what not, I spent four (4) hours in my damn truck. Why? Because this idiot named Aimee decided to leaver her lights on, since it was dark out when she left her house at 7am, and not turn them off. Dumbass! So I took a nap, wrote a letter, read a chapter, ate a sandwich, glanced at a magazine, cleaned the backseat, threw out some trash, drank some water, and essentially froze my ass off in my spandex pants and flashdance sweater! If only I had the leg warmers on to keep my calves hot!
Yup, that's how I spent four hours. Oh well. So instead of going home and tidying the room so we could play some trivial pursuit (ha ha ha) I got to wait till he got out of work and have him come rescue me. 'Cause I am the biggest dork that ever lived.. AND to top it all off. I didn't even have jumper cables. He had to go get some. The ones I did have I took out like a week ago because I decided that they weren't benificial without the plastic handles.. that may be true, but I should have replaced them immediatly, am I right?? Yes, yes I am right.
So last night was a bust. Oh well. It was still a good night. We watched a few movies and made plans for Friday. He's taking the day off. I'm so excited. We're gunna go to McDizzles for breakfast (of champions) and then to do the taxes, and finally: Disneyland!!! Yay!! And since Captain EO is totally back, that's the first place we're gunna hit! I know what you're thinking, LAME! You guys always go to Disneyland. Yeah! That's 'cause we have so much fun together. And it's always a laugh riot!
And I love it. I love anywhere we go to spend time together. Any place is fine with me! Anyplace. And anyplace (tax place, dentist, doctor, bowling, Disneyland, school, work, park, hiking...) that we have ever gone together is 1000000000000000 times more fun than any bullshit anniversary I EVER spent with ANY of my ex's. For example:
Miley: well to be fair, I don't really remember. We never really went anywhere. Or did anything. Really quite boring actually. Well he occasionally took his hatred of school out on me, yelling and being pist all the time. He had a bad temper.
Twig: We went to Six Flags once, with our friend Ivan as a third wheel/supervisor, so we weren't really alone. Oh but we did do stuff. It just wasn't very fun or fulfilling stuff. Never really got anywhere if you catch my drift. He was very nervous and jumpy all the time. It was really annoying. And his mom was a stupid bitch. She hated me. I think the main reason was because I wasn't Salvi.. I don't know, that bitch was retarded. She sold a perfectly good house to move to Bakersfield. His dad was a little bitch for letting that happen. He was a little bitch too. Always crying and stuff. It was like I was the man and he was an emotionaly woman. It was really too much for me. I already have female issues as it is, I don't need my generic gender roles confused. So I dumped his ass after about 7 months of crying (all his part).
Andrew: aka the Temecula Toucher. Ha ha ha. Yeah. I have no problems or qualms or whatever word you wanna insert here with gays. I have gays in my family and I friends who are gay, bi, straight, whatever.... But this guy was just too fucking much. So one day.. we're hanging out, and he decides to share with me some fucking info that I at this point wasn't really ready to hear. "You know, I was in the shower.." (this sentence begining never EVER had anything good following it, ever) "and I was masterbating but I couldn't get off. So I decided (who decides things while masterbating anyway??) to finger my own ass hole and... I came, really hard too, I really liked it." And thus, the Temecula Toucher was born out of the ashes of what I thought was a normal relationship. "You think maybe you can push your thumb..." NO.. EN OH! Never. Never ever ever ever in a million years, even if I wanted kids and you were the only guy and the only way to get sperm was to NO!!! NO NO NO NO NO NO 10000000000 times NO!!! What posessed me to stay with him for 2 years always stumps me.. I blame it on really low low low low low low low low self esteem and a fast food coma put onto my brain from not living at home or cooking for myself. Our anniversaries (all 2 of them) were either spent in bed or at some restaurant where I paid.. even birthdays I paid (even my own birthday). My favorite celebration was our very first Valentine's Day! I didn't get a gift that day.. but I was given a gift of "Here I won this watch at a raffle and I was gunna give it to Mildred but then she dumped me and gave it back. I think it still works, all you have to do is change the battery and then it should be good." If that wasn't a fucking warning sign my brain ignored.. Fuck. That was only a month in to our "relationshit!" Ha ha ha. Looking back, there were so many fucking signs. But we all have 20/20 hindsight or whatever the saying is.
I found out like a week ago that apparently he still loves me and I will always have a special place in his heart. But he understands now (3 years after I broke free) that we would have never worked. That's a load of bullshit! You cannot keep a special place for someone you tormented, abused (verbally and physically), threatened, scared, mistreated, hurt, used and everything else, in your fucking heart.. It makes no fucking sense what so ever! He used to prevent me from leaving him by promising to change his ugly ways or by threatening to kill himself. "Don't leave me, I can't live without you, I'll kill myself." Instead of saying ok, I love you, I'll stay.. I should have said "Do it! You'll be doing society a favor."
That was mean.. Ha ha ha.. but so true. According to sources close to him, he refers to me as "Psycho ex girlfriend" and has only ever dated really really manly looking women. So manly that they could probably fuck him in the ass and not need a strap on. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah, I'm the psycho... right.. that's why when I tried to leave him he ran his head into the wall to try and kill himself. But I'm the psycho.
What a douche..
Anyway. Back to reality. Carlos is so sweet. When he first asked me to be his girlfriend, it was at night when I still lived in Santa Barbara. It was on the beach under a full moon. It was probably the sweetest most romantic thing anyone has ever done for me. But every thing he's ever done for me is romantic. He said he loved me and that he just wanted to be with me. He wanted to be there for me when I'm sad, smile when I'm happy and take care of me so that nothing bad ever happens to me. He's such a cutie. I love him. He truly is my Prince Charming. On our first anniversary he gave me one rose and took me out to dinner and a movie. On our second anniversary he gave me two roses and a card that said:
"Two roses for the love of my life on our two year anniversary. Imagine when it's our 50th anniversary, I got to start saving my pennies for all those roses. I love you. Carlos"
He's the cutest thing in the whole world!! And I'll never ever stop loving him.
"We were given: Two hands to hold. To legs to walk. Two eyes to see. Two ears to listen. But why only one heart? Because the other was given to someone else. For us to find." - Unknown
Saturday, February 20, 2010
To infinity and beyond!
Why is it that everytime I go to Disneyland I get warm mushy feelings inside me about my boyfriend and I? Duh! It's Disneyland. But beside that, he makes me feel nice about myself, which is a hard thing to do. I mean truly nice. Usually I feel like shit about myself because I feel like a fat slob. But not him. He treats me like a person. Like I matter. That's more than I can say about my family. Sometimes they say such stupid shit to me. I don't even know if they notice the things that they say to me. It's all suttle things but I always pick up on them... even if I don't want to. I never want to. Thanks, I know my hair is fugly and my pants are ripped. I know I have no job, thank you for reminding me that I don't have one. Forget that I used to work, according to them I never worked and I never will. How stupid is that? "Aimee's never gunna work a day in her life." Fuck you guys, I'm going home... That's usually my cue to leave. I can't stand that crap. Nevermind that my aunt who could easily weigh over 200 lbs. constantly tells me that it is I, Aimee, who is a fat ass bitch. Riiiiiiiight. That makes a who lot of sense. Or my mom who hates her job and hates working and hates that she didn't go to school and finish (because of me... but that's another day) wants me to quit school (which I love) to get a job now because she knows I'll hate it.. or something.. I don't even know sometimes. I mean she hates her job, and her husband tells her to quit and go to school. But she'd rather just bitch about it and not do anything. But I think she's scared. She's scared because at work she knows everything; she's been there for about 20 years. And if she were to go back to school, she would have to start from the bottom up, from scratch, knowing some but maybe not enough... But that's just a cop out of hers. She's smarter than that.. but she's to set in her ways to change... oh well.
Disneyland was so much fun yesterday. Nevermind the fact that we left at 4 pm and got there at 6 pm because of traffic or the fact that we really only rode 5 rides... we laughed at angry people in flip flops and kids crying about toys. And we walked around and looked at all the pretty lights.
I love Disneyland.
I love going with loved ones like my boyfriend. But mostly I love my boyfriend. That sounds lame. Carlos is so much different than any other guy I dated... He doesn't yell at me like Miley, cry like Twig, or act like an abusive dick like Andrew.
He's really nice to me. He hugs me all the time. He kisses me all the time. He holds my hand when its slippery outside so I won't fall. He buys my tampons when I'm too cranky to go to the store. He brings me chocolate when I'm feeling sad. He doesn't let me stress out about unnecessary things like Valentine's Day or Christmas presents. He makes me laugh. I love him. He does so many things.. I wouldn't be able to name them all in one place. But all that mushyness aside... He's a dork. Ha ha ha.
I wouldn't give him up for anything.
Yesterday there was this lady at Disneyland who was super pissed at her "man" because I guess he must have told her that he would bring her shoes and then he didn't so she only had flip flops and it was raining. And there were puddles everywhere. It was the funniest. She was so pissed!
Lady: Oh you want a chili dog?
Man: Yeah, you never think of me and what I want. You just want everything your way. I want a damn chili dog, I don't want none of this shit.
Lady: Oh I don't respect your feelings? I don't give a shit about you? I'll do whatever you want but hey look at me! My feet are fucking freezing but I still walked my ass over here in the rain to get your fucking chili dog.
Man: Well you shouldn't have worn those, you should have worn real shoes!
Lady: I KNOW!! BUT YOU SAID YOU WOULD BRING MY DAMN NIKE'S AND YOU FUCKING DIDN'T BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY TALKING TO THAT HOE SO YOU FORGOT THAT YOUR LADY NEEDED HER SHOES!
Man: Well that shit ain't my fault. I was obviously busy.
Hahahahaha... Damn we laughed so hard. Then I turned to him and said, "Thanks for buying me socks because my mocassins got soaked. You're the best. I love you."
"When you are in love you can't fall alseep because reality is better than your dreams." -Dr. Suess
Disneyland was so much fun yesterday. Nevermind the fact that we left at 4 pm and got there at 6 pm because of traffic or the fact that we really only rode 5 rides... we laughed at angry people in flip flops and kids crying about toys. And we walked around and looked at all the pretty lights.
I love Disneyland.
I love going with loved ones like my boyfriend. But mostly I love my boyfriend. That sounds lame. Carlos is so much different than any other guy I dated... He doesn't yell at me like Miley, cry like Twig, or act like an abusive dick like Andrew.
He's really nice to me. He hugs me all the time. He kisses me all the time. He holds my hand when its slippery outside so I won't fall. He buys my tampons when I'm too cranky to go to the store. He brings me chocolate when I'm feeling sad. He doesn't let me stress out about unnecessary things like Valentine's Day or Christmas presents. He makes me laugh. I love him. He does so many things.. I wouldn't be able to name them all in one place. But all that mushyness aside... He's a dork. Ha ha ha.
I wouldn't give him up for anything.
Yesterday there was this lady at Disneyland who was super pissed at her "man" because I guess he must have told her that he would bring her shoes and then he didn't so she only had flip flops and it was raining. And there were puddles everywhere. It was the funniest. She was so pissed!
Lady: Oh you want a chili dog?
Man: Yeah, you never think of me and what I want. You just want everything your way. I want a damn chili dog, I don't want none of this shit.
Lady: Oh I don't respect your feelings? I don't give a shit about you? I'll do whatever you want but hey look at me! My feet are fucking freezing but I still walked my ass over here in the rain to get your fucking chili dog.
Man: Well you shouldn't have worn those, you should have worn real shoes!
Lady: I KNOW!! BUT YOU SAID YOU WOULD BRING MY DAMN NIKE'S AND YOU FUCKING DIDN'T BECAUSE YOU WERE TOO BUSY TALKING TO THAT HOE SO YOU FORGOT THAT YOUR LADY NEEDED HER SHOES!
Man: Well that shit ain't my fault. I was obviously busy.
Hahahahaha... Damn we laughed so hard. Then I turned to him and said, "Thanks for buying me socks because my mocassins got soaked. You're the best. I love you."
"When you are in love you can't fall alseep because reality is better than your dreams." -Dr. Suess
Thursday, February 18, 2010
First day of the rest of my life...
...is such a lame title. But hey, it's all I could think of. This week has been a weird week. It should have been all cool considering I had Monday off, but because it didn't even feel like I had Monday off because I had to wake up early anyway. So that was lame. Oh well. So Monday I took care of Jake, it was ok. Except for that fact that we ended up playing computer games for like eternity and I ended up getting a head ache... that was lame. Lame. My new word of choice. Tuesday was ok. Culinary class was outrageous as usual. I almost hate that class. Almost. Except for Chris, Za'l, & Annette.. that class is whack. Wiggity whack. Winter session, when I took Cul 1, I had the time of my life. I learned so much. It was amazing. Chef Daniel was amazing. Everything we made was new for me, things I had never done before. This time however.... our first day of class we made meatloaf. Meat loaf. I mean if that doesn't set up how the semester is gunna go then I don't know what will.... maybe the Strogonoff we made this week. Ugh it was disgusting. I thought the beets we had to use from last week were gross. I am NOT a fan of beets. They may have a beautiful color to them when you broil them, but they do not taste like anything I would like to eat on a daily basis. Bring on duck livers, cow intestines, goats milk, and bull testicles but leave the damn beets in the ground or at the dump! Whatever.
Next week we're making Veal Cordon Bleu and Fajitas.. cordon bleu is so lame. Ham & cheese with some other crap on it.. boring. I keep attempting to give Chef Thomas diarriah with the fact that I love spicy food, but sadly so does he.. although he really really really loves SALTY!!! I'm sure if I served him sea water to drink he would love it. So bad for you when you have too much.
Anyway. So class was lame. He expects a group of 20 of us to cook all at the same time on a stove that maybe can only serve 10 of us if we each had 2 different dishes going (like we did Tuesday night). So lame. So that was hecktic. Hecktik. Heckteck. Whatever.
Wednesday. Physical fitness will eventually kill me. If not, it'll most likely render me cripple. I'm sorry, Handicapped. Or unhandy. Whatever's politically correct these days. It's hard to tell since I haven't seen the news lately. Anyway. It's going to kill me. If not, the one really old black guy in there will. He's so freaking annoying. And he talks with this slow over emphasising voice. It's like "come on already, I have a life to live, I don't have all day to listen about how you had eggs for breakfast or sprained your ankle in a canyon." Seriously. Or about his stupid home gym in his garage that he couldn't use because since it was raining he had to park his car in there. I mean, come on... who gives that much crap about a piece of junk car. So he talked for like, ever. After that class was over and all my limbs were screaming at me, I had AQUA AEROBICS!!! My new frienemy! I finally had a lock for a locker so I wouldn't have to carry around my undies. Ha ha ha. It's funny how before I jump in the pool, I change into my swim suit in the bathroom stall but AFTER class... I just get naked in the shower and change in front of everyone. I think it's because by this point I'm so damn tired that I could just nap in the shower while I'm at it. Which is why I ususally sleep for 2 hours in my truck till my next class starts.
Stupid new year resolution of weight loss. I make one every year and every year I fail. But this year will be different. I WILL lose the weight by December. I will because I want to go on a cruise. I don't care where, I just want to go! Anywhere but here... that's the motto of my destination. Of course it would probably help if I had a damn job. I try so hard looking that really, somedays, I just want to say who the hell cares? My family. All day, everytime I see them it's "When are you going to get a job and stop being lazy?" Yeah because waking up every morning at 5 am to go to school till 10 pm and still have time for homework and dinner is being lazy. Nevermind the fact that only 1 family member officially finished high school with a diploma; the rest have GED's and no one's been to college. Why don't they ever tell that to Cesar? Oh that's right, because he was smart enough to go away to school and not answer phone calls. Lucky. Why can't I be an avoider?
Oh well... C'est la vie. I miss French... sort of. Mostly I miss MKat... But she's all married and stuff and off being a wifey to her hubby. I wish I could do that. Well I can, except I wouldn't be an official wifey.. just a pretend one! Ha ha ha. I love my "hubby" though. He's so sweet. I woke up Valentine's day with vertigo and he totally took care of me and bought me chocolate to feel better. He spoils me. I only wish I could help him with the bills. But he says he doesn't need help and he just wants me to go to school. That's cool I guess. But I would really like to be more useful instead of just feeling like a tumor. He says that one day I'll get a better job because of all the schooling and I'll just support him! It's true..
One day...
"The purpose in life is a life with purpose." Robert Byrne
Next week we're making Veal Cordon Bleu and Fajitas.. cordon bleu is so lame. Ham & cheese with some other crap on it.. boring. I keep attempting to give Chef Thomas diarriah with the fact that I love spicy food, but sadly so does he.. although he really really really loves SALTY!!! I'm sure if I served him sea water to drink he would love it. So bad for you when you have too much.
Anyway. So class was lame. He expects a group of 20 of us to cook all at the same time on a stove that maybe can only serve 10 of us if we each had 2 different dishes going (like we did Tuesday night). So lame. So that was hecktic. Hecktik. Heckteck. Whatever.
Wednesday. Physical fitness will eventually kill me. If not, it'll most likely render me cripple. I'm sorry, Handicapped. Or unhandy. Whatever's politically correct these days. It's hard to tell since I haven't seen the news lately. Anyway. It's going to kill me. If not, the one really old black guy in there will. He's so freaking annoying. And he talks with this slow over emphasising voice. It's like "come on already, I have a life to live, I don't have all day to listen about how you had eggs for breakfast or sprained your ankle in a canyon." Seriously. Or about his stupid home gym in his garage that he couldn't use because since it was raining he had to park his car in there. I mean, come on... who gives that much crap about a piece of junk car. So he talked for like, ever. After that class was over and all my limbs were screaming at me, I had AQUA AEROBICS!!! My new frienemy! I finally had a lock for a locker so I wouldn't have to carry around my undies. Ha ha ha. It's funny how before I jump in the pool, I change into my swim suit in the bathroom stall but AFTER class... I just get naked in the shower and change in front of everyone. I think it's because by this point I'm so damn tired that I could just nap in the shower while I'm at it. Which is why I ususally sleep for 2 hours in my truck till my next class starts.
Stupid new year resolution of weight loss. I make one every year and every year I fail. But this year will be different. I WILL lose the weight by December. I will because I want to go on a cruise. I don't care where, I just want to go! Anywhere but here... that's the motto of my destination. Of course it would probably help if I had a damn job. I try so hard looking that really, somedays, I just want to say who the hell cares? My family. All day, everytime I see them it's "When are you going to get a job and stop being lazy?" Yeah because waking up every morning at 5 am to go to school till 10 pm and still have time for homework and dinner is being lazy. Nevermind the fact that only 1 family member officially finished high school with a diploma; the rest have GED's and no one's been to college. Why don't they ever tell that to Cesar? Oh that's right, because he was smart enough to go away to school and not answer phone calls. Lucky. Why can't I be an avoider?
Oh well... C'est la vie. I miss French... sort of. Mostly I miss MKat... But she's all married and stuff and off being a wifey to her hubby. I wish I could do that. Well I can, except I wouldn't be an official wifey.. just a pretend one! Ha ha ha. I love my "hubby" though. He's so sweet. I woke up Valentine's day with vertigo and he totally took care of me and bought me chocolate to feel better. He spoils me. I only wish I could help him with the bills. But he says he doesn't need help and he just wants me to go to school. That's cool I guess. But I would really like to be more useful instead of just feeling like a tumor. He says that one day I'll get a better job because of all the schooling and I'll just support him! It's true..
One day...
"The purpose in life is a life with purpose." Robert Byrne
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